Behavior and Intention

Lately I have been quite active on Twitter and have come across really thought-provoking discussion and tweets. Recently I read thread from Sahil Lavingia – CEO Gumroad about different between Behavior and Intention.

Behavior is what someone is doing, intention is why they’re doing it. You judge yourself based on your intention, and everyone else based on their behavior.

If we think more about it, most of the disagreement, misunderstanding happens because of judging people on their behavior. Intention is something that we assume people would be able to comprehend from our behavior. Often times people have their unique ways of understanding and making sense of your behavior. To elaborate more on this, I was talking to one of my friend who recently traveled to USA and he had similar experience of inferring people’s intention from their behavior. He mentioned that USA team-members are not as hard-working as India team-members and when we talked more about this, he mentioned that most of the team-members used to leave by 5 PM (Behavior) which means they are not as hard-working (Intention) as Indian team-mates. There are lots of cultural aspects which comes into play and would be difficult to infer the intention of the people. Sahil also wrote about this in another tweet.

Let’s say you don’t think a new team member is working out. You’re judging them based on their behavior. Ask them their intention — if it’s in the right place, work with them to get their behavior to match. If it’s not aligned, a change in behavior is unsustainable.

So next time when you judge someone’s (friends, family, colleagues) intention, make sure it is not based on the inference from their behavior. Even if it is inferred from their behavior, it always saves time and provides mental peace if you clarify the ‘intention’ with the person.

 

Relativity of Life: Success and Failure

We all have heard of Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity” but this post is about realtivity in our life. When we were small , we were happy with small things and our thought is confined within our small community. If we get higher marks or even beat someone in cricket match , we were more than happy and it is “Success” for us.  But as we grow we came to know about facts of life. And relativity is one of them. As we grow we come to know that what we were considering as a Success is a realative success to our specific community. When I thought more about it, I realized nothing is absolute in this world. Everything is relative.

When you got admission into school, you were happy because you got into better school than your friends. In this case your success is relative to your friends. It applies in each and every case including Job, Promotion , Money etc. You can just make list of the things that you are proud of . Then try to find people who are best in related field you have listed. I am sure you can find many people who are more successful in the related field. You might ask “Okay. Agree we live in realtive world and my success is relative to my community but what about the best person in relative field”. The simple answer “He might be the best person in the relative field but he might not have the things you have. To give you an example Stephen Hawking is world’s renowned scientist/physicist. He has great mind but he has to rely on other people to do even his daily tasks.” This example is just to give you an insight into my defination of relativity.  Similarly it applies to failures and human emotions.

Clouds and our Life: Comparison

We can see clouds almost everyday in the sky. What do you thing there is only one kind of clouds? Recently I experienced that there are basically four kinds of clouds. First kind of clouds are at the bottom. They are alone and they don’t have any kind of reason to live. They are moving very fast from place to place. Second kind of clouds are little higher than first one. They know why they are living but they are not firm in their decisions and they lack confidence. Once they meet any successful cloud they changed their decisions and follow their paths. Third kind of clouds are higher than second one and they are less in world. They know why they are living and they are constantly working on reaching their destiny. They are full of confidence but the only problem with these kind of clouds is they do not share anything with one another. They don’t help other cloud to achieve its destiny. While the last and final category of clouds is much higher than all of the three category. They are full of confidence , very clear about their destiny and they help others to achieve their destiny. Similarly human life can be compared with cloud. Replace cloud with people and we can realize that it is true. Most of people on the earth are fall under second category.

Expectation: Real cause of your unhappiness

How many times you feel disappointed/nervous/unhappy?  Just because someone has not done something the way you want. Just because you were not able to deliver something to your boss. In both the situation it is the expectation that makes you disappointed/nervous/unhappy. In first case your expectation is high from other person. While in other case your boss is expecting more from you. Also in education(especially in India) parents expect more from their children. Every parent wants their children to be a doctor/engineer . But they don’t understand that each and every human on the earth are unique. They have their own feelings  , capabilities and virtues. If a child’s father/mother is engineer/doctor  , then they force their child to follow(continue) their profession. You can not Expect Everyone to be Yourself . I am not telling you that expectation are bad. It is a motivating factor but it should not harm to your happiness. Always keep in mind Life never turns the way want.

So.

Expect More From Yourself and Less From Others…..

Work More…..

But never override your expectation with your happiness.

All enduring success is founded upon harmonious human relationships.

Most of us are incapable of “going it alone.” Whether it is in our careers, our personal relationships, or in life, we all need others if we are to achieve the level of success we desire. Besides, what’s the point of having it all if we have no one we care about to share it? You may choose to work with others, you may ignore them, or you may choose to work against them, but the greatest successes in life come to those who work harmoniously with others. When your personal goals coincide with those of another, not only does the power of your combined labors benefit you, but such cooperation also creates a synergistic effect that allows you to achieve far more than the simple sum of your individual efforts.